I was a roller coaster of emotions today (apt, since I was just at Universal Orlando over the weekend). I've been waiting to hear back about something and today was it. I was frantic. A little nauseous. Went through all sorts of gross thoughts which all ended in "you suck." Judgment hour came tonight, just now: I didn't get it.
The old me would've probably crumbled. I'm not sure how I used to deal with rejection, but I think it was by descending into a dark place with a caved in roof. Something to that extent.
But this time, I think I'm okay.
I had a pretty frank conversation with myself about what being rejected this time--and many more times in the future--means for my dreams. I ended up writing a letter to myself to figure it out:
You’re going to be tested today and it’s okay. Just be strong. Know that you can always try again. Things happen for a reason. Rejection is not a bad thing. It’s a chance to be better. To work towards something. Deep breath in, deep breath out. You can make it, as you have made it so many times before! There is nothing wrong with you. It’s in times like these--times when your faith in yourself is truly tested--that you get stronger. You know this. You’ve been there before. Shhhh. Quiet yourself. In the grand scheme of things, this is just one thing. One day. It’s okay. What’s that thing that Coach Taylor always says? Character. Character. Be Brave. Be Strong. Be Okay. Be More Than Okay. Know that you will be more than okay. You will be Better. You will be peaceful and exceptional.
I've learned by now that rejection (in any form) uncovers the one thing that separates those who succeed from those who don't: The will to keep going. (Okay fine, Batman's version is better: And why do we fall, Bruce? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.)
So now what? In a way, I feel like I've reset. Everything I've planned to do, that I want to do, seems that much more clear. My goals and projects feel like old friends. I feel a renewed passion, hunger, willpower.
Writers, artists, dreamers, whatever. I've got to say: I think rejection is okay. I think I'm okay. And you'll be okay too. You'll be better than you were before.
This blog is about being hungry all the time, and it still is. I've got that hunger. It's greater than ever.